


Thinking of You

by Iridescent_Thilbo_Bagginshield_7



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Lemons, M/M, Pregnant Thorin, Top!Bilbo, Violence, submissive Thorin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-04-19 00:11:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14224884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iridescent_Thilbo_Bagginshield_7/pseuds/Iridescent_Thilbo_Bagginshield_7
Summary: Bilbo tries to save his relationship with Thorin although the gold sickness threatens to destroy it and everything else they hold dear. However, when Thorin goes too far before the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo thinks it's too late to help him. He goes home afterwards, only to find out months later that he didn't just leave Thorin and the Company behind...but someone else as well. AU, Mpreg.





	1. Just One Night

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new story! It was somewhat hard writing this first chapter, mostly due to some writer's blocks and lack of time. My job is still keeping me very busy. So, if certain parts seem too short or rushed, that is why, and I am sorry.
> 
> And now, on to the first chapter! Rated E for mentions of lemons and violence. Some parts of the chapter-and the rest of the story-will be based on the movie or the book. I hope that you enjoy it. Kudos to Alonia143 for helping me :)

* * *

It was late at night, and Bilbo Baggins was alone in his and Thorin Oakenshield's bedroom once again. In fact, he had been going to sleep by himself since Erebor-Thorin's home and kingdom-was reclaimed three days ago.

Bilbo sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling. All Thorin did was stay in the treasure hoard chamber for a majority of that time. He wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat unless he begged him to, or do anything else.

None of the Company (the group that traveled to Erebor with them, minus Thorin's nephews, as well as Bofur, Óin, and Gandalf) could get Thorin to listen to them either. In fact, he paid even less attention to them than he did to Bilbo. That wasn't saying much; he barely seemed to notice any of them. Not even Balin was able to get through to him and Thorin listened to him-and his brother Dwalin-more than anyone else besides Bilbo.

He wished that Thorin would leave that accursed room and join him. He missed laying next to him, or more preferably, in his arms.

But he knew that he couldn't get what he wanted. Now that the gold sickness had befallen Thorin, everything was almost completely different between them. He couldn't figure out what to do about it either.

He exhaled deeply again, thinking of the events that led to that moment.

XXX

More than five months ago, on the morning of April 26th, a Wizard named Gandalf the Grey came to his house. Bilbo, having no memory of him right then, found it odd that someone like him was there. Outsiders rarely came to the Shire in Hobbiton, where he was born.

Nevertheless, he politely said good morning to him. Gandalf had risen an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" he asked quizzically. "Do mean to wish me a good morning, or is it a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel _good_ on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?"

Bilbo was really mystified this time. "All of them at once, I suppose," he responded after thinking it over. He paused, then asked if he could help him.

Gandalf said that it remained to be seen, then told him with a smile, "I am looking for someone to share in an adventure."

He was mildly surprised and puzzled. "An adventure...? Now I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures."

He checked his mail while adding that adventures were "nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things" that made one "late for dinner." Then he bid him good morning again and went to go in his house.

Gandalf then declared something that astonished him.

"To think that I should have lived to be good morning-ed by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!"

Bilbo turned around with wide eyes. "I beg your pardon?"

"You changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins."

"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Well, you know my _name,_ although you don't remember I _belong_ to it. I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means...me!"

Bilbo's expression dawned in realization "Gandalf? Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard who made such _excellent_ fireworks! Old Took used to have them on midsummer's eve!" He chuckled at the memories before adding, "No idea you were still business."

Gandalf, who had been pleased that he remembered the fireworks, now looked stern. "And where _else_ should I be?" he demanded.

Unable to come up with an answer, Bilbo just smoked his pipe.

Gandalf whispered to himself for a moment. After that, he announced, "Well, that's decided. It will be very good for _you_ , and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."

Bilbo was startled. He didn't know who these "others" were, and he certainly didn't want to. "No! Wait...we do not want _any_ adventures _here!_ Not today! I suggest you try over the water! G-Good morning."

And he finally managed to escape into Bag End, the name of his house.

He had just locked the door when he heard a scraping noise on the other side of it. He looked out of the window to see what was going on, but Gandalf suddenly appeared. He hid until he saw him leave.

Bilbo soon forgot all about his visit, and carried on with his daily activities.

Later the next evening, he received the shock of his life.

He was sitting at his dining room table, preparatory to eating supper. Just as he was about to begin his meal, however, the doorbell rang.

 _Now, who on **earth** could that possibly be?_ he wondered. Everyone was usually eating their suppers at this time.

When he opened the door, he was taken aback to find a tall, bald Dwarf standing outside. Back when he was younger-and actually _loved_ to go on adventures-he often wished to meet Dwarves and Elves in the woods. He would asked them for stories if he happened to, and a few were kind enough to tell him one.

Still, he never expected a Dwarf to come to Bag End.

Bilbo's thoughts were interrupted as he (the Dwarf) turned and bowed to him. "Dwalin...at your service."

The former tied close the robe that he was wearing. "Bilbo...Baggins, at yours. Do we know each other?" he inquired as he walked in. He couldn't recall if he had met him before.

Dwalin frowned. "No," he responded. then he asked where supper was as he gave him his coat. "He said there'd be food, and lots of it."

"H-He said? Who said?"

Dwalin didn't answer that question.

Since he did not make enough supper for than one person, Bilbo reluctantly gave him his. He was setting down a plate of scones in front of him when the doorbell rang again.

This time, another Dwarf named Balin was there. Thinking that Bilbo was commenting on the weather when he said, "Good evening", he agreed. However, he believed that it might rain later that night.

It turned out that Balin and Dwalin were brothers. They gave each other what Bilbo thought was an unusual greeting and bumped their heads together. The next thing he knew, they were going over the food in his pantry. He tried to get them to leave, but they were too busy criticizing his cheese to listen to him.

Next, Fíli and Kíli-who turned out to be Thorin's nephew-arrived. And no sooner did they come did eight other Dwarfs fall onto Bilbo's welcome mat when the latter opened the door a fourth time. Gandalf was behind them.

Bilbo left them for a bit to change his clothes after they introduced themselves to him. When he came back to the dining area, he saw that everyone was helping themselves to his food even though he never allowed them to! He found it completely rude; no one in Hobbiton would _ever_ do such a thing!

He was outraged, especially when he saw that his pantry was empty. Not even a biscuit remained. And it only worsened his mood seeing almost everyone except Gandalf throwing food and finding his house in disarray. The said Wizard wasn't even apologetic when he complained to him either.

"I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" he concluded at the end of his rant.

Gandalf said nothing as Ori walked over to Bilbo, asking what he should do with his plate now that he had finished eating.

Fíli and Kíli took it, and much to Bilbo's horror, Kíli tossed it and a few more into the kitchen. The rest of the Company began to scrape their knives together.

"Don't do that! You'll blunt them!" Bilbo warned.

"Do you hear that, lads?" the Dwarf named Bofur casually inquired. "He says we'll blunt the knives."

And then they made a song from Bilbo's statement, which irritated him further. They also proceeded to throw the rest of the dishes into the kitchen.

Bilbo was just about to yell at them as they finished singing when he saw that his dishes were cleaned and stacked neatly.

They were all laughing at his stunned expression when there was a loud, rather significant knock on the door.

"He is here," Gandalf declared in a solemn voice.

Everybody followed him to the door. When he opened it, Bilbo found out who "he" was, and he felt as if a major turning point in his life had occurred.

It was none other than Thorin Oakenshield, King Under The Mountain.

He looked around and peered upwards. "Gandalf," he said with a smirk. He entered the house. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all if it hadn't been for that mark on the door." He took his cloak off.

Bilbo looked confused. "Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago."

"There _is_ a mark. I put it there myself," Gandalf confessed.

He then introduced him to Thorin, and the latter gazed at him with high interest, as well as something else he couldn't name at the time.

"So...this is the Hobbit," Thorin stated with another small smile.

After that, he walked around him and inquired as to whether an axe or sword was his "weapon of choice." Bilbo replied that he was skilled in conkers, which amused him.

"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar," Thorin announced to the others before grinning at him a second time. Everyone laughed.

Bilbo felt offended. Grocers were quite respected in the Shire. However, it was clear that they weren't where Dwarves lived.

Thorin was given a bowl of stew after they returned to the dining room. When he was finished eating, they began to talk about reclaiming Erebor. They also mentioned a dragon named Smaug, Chiefest and Greatest Calamity of the Age. Bilbo would have the role of a burglar, if he chose to join them on their quest.

Bilbo did not agree to it. He told them that he had never stole anything in his life. Balin and Dwalin agreed, and the others were talking among themselves when Gandalf stood up.

"If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" he proclaimed. After that he went on, saying that he had a lot more to offer than they or Bilbo himself knew.

Thorin decided to let Gandalf have his way and handed Bilbo the contract. Their fingers grazed each other's as he did, and Bilbo felt a rush of giddiness. Thorin may have experienced something similar because he stiffened.

Bilbo pulled himself together and read the contract. When he read about the injuries or death that he may sustain, and Bofur gave him a clearer explanation about being incinerated by Smaug, he fainted.

Gandalf try to convince him to go with them after he had revived, but he thought everything over and decided not to sign the contract.

"You have the wrong Hobbit," Bilbo concluded before going to his room.

However, later that night, he heard Thorin and the others singing about Erebor. About going back and finding their "long, forgotten gold", and of Smaug's attack.

Thorin's rich, deep voice seemed set apart from the rest. It tugged at him, as if it was trying to convince him to go with them on their journey. Yet he knew he couldn't. What use would he be to them? He couldn't steal if his life depended on it; he was too honest to. Besides that, a respectable Hobbit did not go on adventures, especially at his age.

Bilbo pondered this until he fell asleep. When he arose the next morning, it was quiet.

He left his room and noticed that his house was empty. He was extremely happy about this at first. He was still annoyed that they made a mess and ate him out of house and home.

But that changed when he saw that the contract was left on his table. He thought the Dwarves' determination to get to the Lonely Mountain, and of Gandalf's willingness to helped them, in spite of how dangerous things would get. Above all, he remembered Thorin's singing, and how he felt his voice calling to him. And to something in his soul.

The next thing Bilbo knew, he was packing his clothes, a few other belongings, throwing on his coat, signing the contract, and running out of the Shire.

He managed to catch up to Gandalf, Thorin, and the others in the woods, much to his relief. They were amazed to see him, Thorin included. Most of them clearly did not believe that he would join them at all.

Balin checked Bilbo's signature after he handed contract to him and smiled widely. "Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the Company of Thorin Oakenshield!" he declared with a wink.

Everybody chuckled, and Bilbo could have sworn that Thorin had even grinned a bit before looking away.

"Give him a pony," the latter announced.

Bilbo protested, but he was lifted up and placed on one anyhow. He was not happy about that, especially since the horsehair made him sneeze. It was then that he realized that he left his handkerchief at Bag End. He wanted to go back and get it, but Bofur just ripped a piece of his coat off and threw it to him. As they continued on, Gandalf said that he would have to learn to do without handkerchiefs on this adventure, among other things.

And what an adventure it turned out to be! They had encounters with Stone Giants, Azog, Bolg, and their minions...not to mention their Wargs. They met Radagast the Brown, another Wizard. They had been captured by Trolls, Goblins, spiders, and the Silvan Elves of the Woodland Realm in Mirkwood before being saved by Bilbo or Gandalf. Bilbo himself had a game of riddles with a creature named Gollum. (This was during the time Thorin and the others had been captured by the Goblins before the said Wizard rescued them.) He had found a magic ring before then, not knowing it was Gollum's until afterwards, when he won the game. If Bilbo hadn't followed Gollum while the latter was searching for him, he would never have found his way out of the cave.

However, they managed to lay low every once in a while. They stayed at Elrond's home in Rivendell for a fortnight, at the house of a skin-changer's (named Beorn) a couple of months after that. They also spent several nights in Esgaroth (Laketown) with a Man named Bard and his children. They also spent the evening of Bilbo's fifty-first birthday in the Master of the Lake's mansion. They ended up there because they had attempted to sneak into Laketown's armory. That failed, and they would have ended up in prison had it not been for Dwalin. He presented Thorin to the Master of the Lake, and after the said Dwarf king promised them gold and treasure, he, Bilbo, and the Company were allowed to stay the night at his house.

Bilbo supposed that he could say that they had time to rest during their stay in the Woodland Realm, the home of the Elven king Thranduil, too. Of course, none of them found it a good thing. They had been put in the dungeons after Thorin had refused a deal with Thranduil, and had been forced remain there for a month until Bilbo helped them to Laketown escape using barrels. Unfortunately, they were attacked by Bolgs and the other Wargs (again) as they did, and Kíli had been shot in the leg with a poisoned arrow.

When they eventually made it to Erebor, Bilbo had to find the Arkenstone and evade Smaug with Thorin and the others for half of the night. That was ordeal in itself; worse than going through the quest ten times over without facing him. They were relieved when he was killed, though not before he set Esgaroth ablaze in revenge-he thought that Men had aided them-and destroyed the small town.

Overall, the journey was so insane and dangerous that Bilbo would have returned to the Shire long ago, if he hadn't been set on helping Thorin reclaim Erebor.

And if it wasn't for Thorin himself. Without him, he would never have made it to the Mountain...or vice versa.

Ever since Bilbo met him, he had felt something for him. He didn't know what at first; he had never experienced it before. None of the women-or men-in Hobbiton interested him in that way.

He chose not to acknowledge or mention it. For one, he didn't know what to do about it at the time being. Second, Thorin didn't feel anything similar for (or care about) him, and it wasn't likely that he ever would either. For all Bilbo knew, he was attracted to women. In any case, he was just an ordinary Hobbit, whereas he was a king. Lastly, Thorin almost always seemed to be irritated with him at the beginning of their journey, or took little notice of him.

That was what Bilbo had _initially_ believed _._

However, it gradually started to become apparent that he may have-and eventually-been wrong.

It started off with minor things at the beginning. Thorin would give Bilbo help if he needed it before the others had a chance to. He made sure that he didn't fall if they were climbing up or down something. Plus, he kept a closer watch on him than he thought when he didn't think that Bilbo was aware of it.

Yet, it was when Bilbo had been caught by the Trolls while attempting to free the ponies they stole from the Company that it really came to his attention. Kíli and the others came to save him by fighting the Trolls. However, they stopped after the Trolls picked him up and threatened to rip all of his limbs off unless they dropped their weapons.

Bilbo could have sworn that he saw something besides overwhelming fear in Thorin's eyes before he threw down his sword. The rest of the Company did too, albeit with great reluctance.

The second time was soon after, when Bilbo tried to stall the Trolls to prevent them from being cooked. Nearly everyone except Thorin caused a small uproar when he told them that the Dwarves were infected with parasites. The said Dwarf king gave him an appraising look, understanding what he was doing, unlike the others. The rest of the Company quickly caught on, though, once he kicked his nephew.

However, it was the second time that Thorin saved his life (technically, to Bilbo) that he realized that he cared more about him than he thought.

It happened on the evening they encountered the Stone Giants. Bilbo, Thorin, and the others (except Gandalf) were making their way along a cliff of the Misty Mountains during a wild thunderstorm.

Unfortunately, their troubles became worse when they found out that some of the mountains were not mountains at all. One Stone Giant had threw enormous rocks at the one they happened to be standing on, and they had to hold on for their lives as a Thunder Battle ensued.

Thorin and several others of the Company managed to get off the leg of it when it crashed into an actual mountain after what felt like an eternity. However, Bilbo and a few others were stuck on the other leg until it smashed into said mountain not long after. Somehow, most of them landed on the cliff's trail, but Bilbo had fallen off of it.

He clung to the side of it as everybody reached down and tried to pull him up, but he slipped. He thought that this was it, that this was the end for him, when his hand caught on the jagged edge of a rock.

Everyone continued their efforts to save him again, but it was Thorin who flung himself over the edge and lifted him up to safety. Again, Bilbo happened to see the fear and another emotion in his eyes as he did. Then the look vanished as Thorin himself began to slip, and the others had to help him too.

Almost all of them were relieved that Bilbo was safe, but Thorin had grown furious. When Bofur commented that he was afraid that they had lost Bilbo, Thorin said, "He's been lost ever since he'd left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."

Bilbo felt a huge sense of disappointment, guilt, and oddly enough, rejection. He would have left the Company had they not ended up in the Goblin tunnels after Bofur tried, without success, to stop him from going. After all, it was obvious that Thorin saw him as a burden.

That was what he believed until the morning after he saved Thorin's life in turn.

One of Azog's minions had attempted to kill him when they had cornered them not far from the Goblin's tunnels the night before. Thorin challenged him, only to end up injured in the process.

Bilbo felt a rush of a powerful emotion as the Azog's minion approached him. He could not bear to see him die. He would not let that happen!

He took out his sword and ran over to them, diving onto the Orc just as he was about to deal the fatal blow. Then he killed the vile creature before planting himself between the now unconscious Thorin and Azog. He would sacrifice his own life if he had to; Thorin _was_ going to live no matter what.

Luckily, Gandalf was able to get Eagles to save them. By morning, they had safely make it to Carrock.

Gandalf then revived Thorin, who stood up angrily and started to give Bilbo a dressing down as everyone else watched.

"You! What were you doing?! You nearly got yourself killed!" he scolded. "Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the Wild? That you had no place amongst us?"

Bilbo looked down sadly, but the next thing he knew, Thorin was wrapping him in a fierce embrace.

"I have never been so wrong in all my life," he declared.

Gandalf and the Company either smiled or cheered as Bilbo returned the hug with great joy and relief. When Thorin eventually backed away, the emotion that he couldn't name was in his gaze once more as he apologized for doubting him. For his harsh words, and his unkindness towards him.

And everything only got better that night.

XXX

Bilbo had stayed awake long after the others had fallen asleep. Well, Dwalin was also up, since he was taking the first watch. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't doze off. He was feeling jittery from the hug that Thorin had given him. He couldn't believe that he actually hugged him, or how...how _right..._ it felt when he did. There was no other way to describe it.

He eventually gave up, deciding that stretching his legs would calm him down. He expected to see Dwalin sitting at the edge of their camp, but he was gone. Thorin was sitting there in his place. That took him aback; he didn't hear him or Dwalin.

Thorin noticed him and inclined his head with a grin. Bilbo nodded in return, thinking that he was incredibly handsome when he smiled, especially in the moonlight. He also thought that he should smile much more often, as he rarely did.

 _Hold on...where did that come from...?_ he asked himself.

"Are you all right, Master Baggins?" Thorin queried then, catching him off guard.

"Mmm...? Oh...yes, I am fine. Just can't sleep, is all," Bilbo replied when he found his voice.

Thorin gave him an understanding look. "Nervous about something?"

He said no. "I'm just not tired. I was thinking that a bit of a walk would help."

With another nod, Thorin let him be for the moment.

Bilbo proceeded to take a leisurely stroll around the camp. The only sounds that could be heard were the noises of the Wild and the Dwarves' and Gandalf's snoring. He soon became thirsty, and was about to get some water when he saw Thorin grimacing in pain.

"Now I must ask if you are," he stated.

"I will be all right, Master Baggins. My injuries just hurt from time to time. No need to fret about it; everything could be much worse," Thorin pointed out reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Bilbo inquired, going over to him. "Perhaps I could help you in some way?"

"I am sure. No need to worry about me."

He sighed, but let it go.

"Well...if you ever change your mind...feel free to ask me..."

Thorin quirked an eyebrow, yet nodded all the same.

Bilbo was turning away when he spoke up again.

"Master Baggins...I would like to talk to you. Could you sit down here...if you don't mind?"

He indicated the spot next to him.

"Of course."

Bilbo sat and made himself as comfortable as possible. However, being close to him just made him feel giddy once more. Seeing the moonlight playing across his face again didn't help either.

Thorin was quiet for a short while, then gazed at him. "I just want to thank you, Bilbo, for saving my life. You didn't have to do that, you know. As I said earlier, you could have gotten killed. You are braver than I had ever expected a Hobbit to be," he murmured.

Bilbo reddened, feeling pleased as well as astonished. He had never called him by his name before. "I suppose so. But you saved my life first, and I was just returning the favor. And I know that we wouldn't have been able to bear it if we lost you. What would have been the point of your journey then?"

He blinked. "I would have wanted all of you to go on in spite of that. Fíli is the next heir to the throne; perhaps he would have succeeded in reclaiming Erebor if I did not."

"Perhaps. But I doubt that we would still have the desire to continue the quest without you. And I don't know if Fíli would have had the desire to be king."

"You keep saying 'we'," Thorin observed.

Bilbo froze. "Oh...er...well..." he stammered. He cleared his throat. "I do mean what I said, nonetheless. Do you not think that we care about you?"

"I never assumed otherwise. And even though I don't always show it, I care about each of you just as much."

He bobbed his head, then realized something. "Is that why you saved me? And why you often helped me? Because you care about me?"

Thorin paused, and after another long silence, nodded as well. "Yes. I have come to care about you a great deal. In fact...I...I..."

Suddenly, he looked oddly flustered, and did not continue.

"Yes?" Bilbo pressed him.

Thorin did not answer right away; he appeared to be collecting himself. Then he turned to him again. "I will admit that...I more than care about you; I feel something for you. Something I never felt for anyone else. I think I have since the night we met, and my feelings grew over time. But I chose not to acknowledge it because I didn't know if you would make it or stay with us this long. You have never been on an adventure such as this one, so I know this is a entirely new experience."

Bilbo was stunned. He couldn't think of what to say. Nor could he believe that Thorin felt the same way about him! A surge of happiness rushed through him at thought of it.

In fact, he was quiet for so long that Thorin was _sure_ that he had offended him. He looked away. "Nevermind, Bilbo. You may forget what I said. I don't know how I had even dared to utter it. I know that you would never feel anything for me, especially since I am a man. No doubt you have a Hobbit lass waiting for you back at the Shire..."

"But I don't," Bilbo cut in. "And just so you know, I...er...I have never been attracted to women."

Now, it was Thorin's turn to be surprised. "Never? But you haven't made any indication that you were drawn to men, either."

He inclined his head. "I know. I have learned to hide that from everyone in the Shire. Most Hobbits frown upon the idea of men being with other men, or women being with other women."

"Ah. I see. But Dwarves do not. If anything, men being attracted to men is quite common for us. There are more males than females in our race. Of course, some Dwarf males do have wives. Glóin does, as you know, as well as Bombur and Bifur. And some of the female Dwarves like women; that isn't considered unusual either."

Bilbo sighed. "I wish that most of the Hobbits were as open-minded as Dwarves are."

Thorin pursed his lips. "Why? Was there a man that you were...attracted to...where you lived?" he questioned, looking so unconsciously jealous at the idea of it that Bilbo had to try not to laugh. He found himself thinking that he looked cute when he was envious.

"No, not really. I was mildly interested in one or two years ago, perhaps, but not enough to talk about."

"Mmm." That response clearly pleased him.

"But," Bilbo went on. "Er...I do have a confession to make."

Thorin rose his eyebrows again. "Yes? Go on."

He stared at the ground. "I have to admit that...I have feelings for you since the night we met too. Only I didn't say so. I believed that I was nothing more than a nuisance to you, and that you cared nothing for me. Until you stopped the Trolls from killing me and saved my life at the Misty Mountains, that is. And, of course, I didn't know that you were drawn to men either."

Nodding, Thorin reached over to squeeze his hand. "I understand, and again, I am sorry for treating you the way I have."

"It's all right. I have forgiven you for that already. Let's just put it behind us and start over."

"Certainly. I would like that."

Thorin smiled once more, and Bilbo returned it with one of his own. He suddenly noticed that the former hadn't let go of his hand, but he didn't mind that. Not at all.

He remained next to him for a while longer until he finally started to become exhausted. However, at the same time, he didn't want to go to bed as he did earlier.

Thorin could see this and gestured to the camp. "Go and get some sleep, Bilbo. We will be up early, as usual, and you need your rest. We can talk again whenever you like. I will make time for you."

Bilbo grinned at the thought of it. "That sounds agreeable. And I will do the same for you if you wish to talk to me."

He nodded, squeezing his hand a second time. "Very well. Good night, Bilbo."

"Good night, Thorin."

Bilbo was about to get up when he stopped him, and before he could more than look at him in curiosity, Thorin's lips were on his.

This caught him off guard so much that he could only sit there in astonishment. However, after it wore off, he leaned up and kissed him back. Thorin moaned and held him close until they moved apart for air. Then Bilbo finally went to bed, and Thorin continued his part of the night watch.

XXX

That was the beginning of a most wonderful relationship. They didn't have many chances to spend time with each other after leaving Carrock, but they still managed to whenever they could.

They kept everything between them a secret at first. It was quite easy to, since everyone was distracted by all that happened until they arrived in Laketown. The Company and Gandalf didn't appear to think much of it when they went off in search of firewood together, sat next to one another when they had their meals either, or did a night watch at the same time. If any of them did, they likely believed that they had become friends, and left it at that.

Neither Bilbo nor Thorin would deny that they were friends. Of course, their relationship was deeper than that. Both of them would have enjoyable conversations in which they would talk about anything and everything. They learned more about each other personally and about their different lifestyles and customs. However, some of the best times were when they would just bask in a comfortable silence, sharing a passionate kiss or two now and then when the others were not around or asleep.

Both of them were able to have much more time together when they stayed at Beorn's, especially at night. After the first evening in his house, Beorn had given everyone their own rooms to sleep in for the remainder of their visit.

Bilbo would wait until he knew that Gandalf and the rest of the Company were in a deep slumber before sneaking into Thorin's room. He would only stay there for an hour or so before going back to his initially, but by the time their visit was more than half over, they were secretly courting and sleeping together. Bilbo would always make sure to leave the room early the next morning before the others woke up, though he hated leaving Thorin.

They were glad that for those times at Beorn's because spent very little of it together in Mirkwood, where Gandalf left them at its entrance to take care of some important matter. Even in the Woodland Realm, Bilbo couldn't be around Thorin, his nephews, or the Company often enough. At least, it seemed that way to him. Still, he would sit outside of Thorin's cell for a while, quietly comforting and reassuring him and the others until their escape.

However, Bilbo and Thorin's best night was on the former's birthday at the Master of the Lake's house. They threw a party for Bilbo, as well as celebrated their good fortune. After all, the Master of the Lake promised to help them get to Erebor, which was only a few days away by now.

Bilbo agreed with Thorin that it was a good time to announce their courtship to the latter's nephews and the others. They were all taken aback at first, but expressed their happiness and approval for them a minute later. They also cheered when Bilbo and Thorin braided and beaded each other's hair after that.

It was late when everyone had gone to bed (or passed out, in Bofur's case.) As always, Bilbo waited until everyone had fallen asleep before joining Thorin in the room set aside for him.

And for the very first time, they made love. They weren't sure if it was the wine that brought it on-though neither of them drank much-the moon shining on them through the window that did, or their ever growing love and passion for one another. Of course, they would soon agree that it was the latter that had.

Bilbo initiated it, making sure that he didn't hurt Thorin as they took their time exploring and finding out what gave each other the most pleasure. And the feeling of being inside Thorin...it was beyond words.

Later, he would always be surprised that Thorin wasn't the one to initiate. After all, he was always in control of almost everything else. He figured that he would be no different when sex was involved. Nevertheless, it didn't bother him. Nor did it bother Thorin.

It was the best night of their lives.

XXX

Bilbo thought of all this as he continued to lie in bed and shook his head morosely. It seemed as if their relationship had taken a turn for the worse after Smaug was killed. Thorin barely spoke to him now. When he did, it was about his gold and treasure, and how they would both own all of it when they ruled Erebor together.

He hated this, but it was no use in trying to change the subject. Thorin would either grow quiet or ignore him and steer the conversation back to what he was talking about.

And it was clear that he only wanted to spend his time with his gold at present.

Suddenly, Bilbo was tired of it all. He climbed out of bed and made his way to that accursed treasure hoard. He missed being with Thorin, and he was sick of spending his evenings alone without him. He was also sick of Thorin ignoring him and everyone else. Enough was enough. He was going to join him tonight, even if he had to argue with him first, though he didn't want to. But he would if it would make Thorin do it.

When Bilbo arrived at the chamber, he found him sitting in the middle of it. He didn't even notice him approaching until he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Aaah!" Thorin yelped, looking startled as pivoted. "Oh...hello, Ghivashel...Don't sneak up on me like that."

He turned to gaze at his gold once more, but Bilbo redirected his stare. "Thorin, it's late. Why don't you come to our room and get some sleep? You're tired," he observed, staring at the shadows under his eyes.

"No...not right now. Go on without me. I'll be there soon...I want to stay here for a while longer."

"That's what you've said every night since Smaug fell, and it never happened. Come on. Don't you miss sleeping with me? And the evenings that we would spend together?"

He didn't answer.

"Please, Thorin. Let's go. You need your rest. You haven't slept for days. Come to bed with me. And if you don't want to sleep, we can just talk, or do whatever you want. But you shouldn't be in here. All of this gold is affecting your mind."

"Nonsense. It isn't affecting me. I'm fine. Let me just sit here for a while longer. I will join you soon. I promise..."

"NO!" Bilbo yelled, making Thorin jump again. "Now, please. Even if it's for just one night, though I would like it to be for more than one. Come on, I'm exhausted, and I miss being with you. Stop being so stubborn for once."

"If anyone is being stubborn, it's you."

"Good! At least I am for the right reason, and not the wrong one!"

"Bilbo, please! Can't you just let me be?! I'm promised that I would join you!"

"If I leave you alone, you will forget all about your promise, and I will make sure that you don't! Please come with me _, now_ ," Bilbo half pleaded, half requested.

He took his hand, and much to his surprise, Thorin (rather grudgingly) stood up. Bilbo led him out of the chamber and back to their room.

"There," he said once they were covered up. "Isn't this more comfortable than sitting on a lump of hard coins and jewels?"

"I suppose," Thorin muttered. His eyes were somewhat clearer now that he was away from the gold. "But you still could have just left me alone."

"Too bad. That wasn't an option."

With a heavy sigh, Thorin chose not to comment. Yet Bilbo saw a glimmer of something in his eyes; something had made him both pleased and amused. Even if only a little.

He kissed Thorin and smiled when he pecked his temple in return. "And I'm glad it wasn't."

He eventually dozed off, although Thorin fidgeted in his arms. He noticed that he seemed antsy and distracted before he went to sleep.

Bilbo wished that he had kept a tighter hold on him as well, because when he woke up the next morning, Thorin was already gone. Again.


	2. Just When Things Started To Look Up

_Continuing from the last chapter_

Bilbo felt extremely disappointed and irritated as he washed up and put his clothes on. He already knew without a doubt where Thorin had gone off to. If only he had awakened sooner and prevented him from doing so. That chamber was the last place he needed to be.

He exhaled deeply as he left the room. He needed to have his first breakfast before speaking to Thorin. Of course, it likely wouldn't do any good, since he probably wouldn't even listen to much of what he said.

Almost everyone was in the dining hall when he stepped into it, waiting for Bombur to finish cooking. Thorin was the only one who wasn't present, but this was no longer a surprise. He rarely came in there.

"Morning," Bilbo declared to the others. He sat down on one of the remaining chairs.

They either returned the greeting or nodded. Bombur did also as he walked out of the kitchen carrying a tray heaped with sausages. He then went back to get a tray of eggs, as well as a few kettles of tea and coffee.

Everyone quietly dished out how much food they wanted and started to eat. None of them appeared to have a good deal to say as they did. Most of them were either too tired or stressed out to exchange more than a few words.

Balin stepped over to Bilbo after they had finished their meal and left the dining hall. "What's wrong, laddie? You look disappointed about something," he observed. He noticed that he had been quieter than usual during breakfast.

The latter sighed heavily again. "Only because I am. I managed to get Thorin to leave that blasted gold chamber last night. But when I woke up this morning, he wasn't there. I was hoping that he would stay with me for just this once," he responded.

"Ahhh. That explains it," Balin murmured sadly. "That dragon sickness is changing him for the worse."

"Don't I know it. I just wish I knew what could be done or said to make it go away and have him snap out of it."

"You aren't the only one. Hopefully, something will sooner rather than later."

"Yes. Hopefully."

They continued to walk in silence before going their separate ways. However, Balin paused when he saw that Bilbo was heading towards the gold chamber.

"What are you about to do, lad?" he called to him.

"I need to talk to Thorin about something."

"Oh. All right. I wish you luck with that."

Balin knew that Thorin would not listen to anyone unless it was about his treasure as well. So did everyone else. It was a shame; he thought that Thorin would at _least_ pay attention to Bilbo. He was courting him, after all.

"Thanks," the said Hobbit grumbled. He would need it.

When he eventually arrived at the gold chamber, he found Thorin in what appeared to be a state of panic. He was sifting through the coins and treasure feverishly while muttering to himself, swearing colorfully several times.

Bilbo approached him. "Hi. I figured that I would find you here again," he declared.

Thorin faced him distractedly. "Oh...hi," he greeted in a sullen voice.

He moved closer. "I didn't hear you get out of bed this morning. If I had known you would be up that early, I would have joined you. I told you last night that missed being with you," he stated, making it clear that he was unhappy with him.

Thorin turned away, and Bilbo could have sworn that a look of guilt or shame had darkened his expression.

He pursed his lips. "Did get any sleep _or_ eat breakfast, at least?"

"...No. I wasn't tired or hungry."

"Thorin! You _need_ to eat! You haven't eaten in the past two days! Nor have you slept since we came here! All you want to do is stay in this bloody chamber!"

His echoing voice was all that could be heard; Thorin did not comment on anything he said. He just stood there quietly. _Too_ quietly.

Bilbo reached over and took his hand. "Come on. You need some food in your stomach, as well as a nice long rest."

Thorin pulled away from him. "No. I'll eat and sleep later, but not right now. I need to do something first."

"No, you bloody well _don't_! _Not_ in here!" he fumed as Thorin continued to root through the gold. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm searching for something," he replied vaguely. "Where in Durin's name _is_ it?!"

"Where in Durin's name is _what_? I hope it is some _breakfast_ or _sleeping medicine_ that you're looking for in this hoard...because I don't see what else could be more important than that...!"

"Bilbo, this is not a time for joking around! What I'm searching for is really important!"

"I was _not_ joking, Thorin! I was being serious! Can you just stop what you're doing and listen to me for once?! What _are_ you trying to find?!"

Thorin straightened and ran his fingers through his hair in distress. "The Arkenstone! It should be here among the treasure! Smaug can't have taken it before he went to attack Laketown. He would have hinted as much, knowing him!" he responded.

It was a good thing for Bilbo that he was still looking away from him at the moment. Otherwise, Thorin would have noticed a significant change in his own expression. However, he recovered quickly.

"O-Oh. Well...if it is in here, surely you don't need to look for it right now..." Bilbo remarked.

He shook his head. "You don't understand, love! The Arkenstone is no ordinary jewel! It is the birthright of my kingdom...!"

"Yes, I know that. You have told me so plenty of times before..."

"Then you should understand that it's essential that I find it as soon as I can!"

"Well, working yourself into a frenzy isn't going to help. You ought to settle down."

"I'll do that after I find the Arkenstone, and not a minute before!"

Bilbo frowned. "Thorin Oakenshield, you are being ridiculous! It's not going to be the end of the world if you choose to find it later!"

When the said Dwarf king opened his mouth to yell back, he cut him off.

"No! Not another word. I've heard enough! You are going to settle down and come with me, right this instant!"

Bilbo led him out of the gold chamber with surprising strength-but none too roughly-and headed to the kitchen. He filled a plate with the remaining eggs and sausages, then poured him a cup of tea. Since he knew better than to let Thorin go, he had to make two trips to the dining room so that he could put the food and drink on the table.

After the second one, Bilbo pulled out a chair and sat him down. _"Please_ eat. I will sit here with you, and I will not let you get up until your plate and cup is empty. When you are done, you will rest in our bedroom. You _need_ to have some sleep. I don't want to be hard on you, but I'm doing it because I care about you and love you. Staying in that accursed chamber, not eating, and depriving yourself of sleep isn't healthy for you."

Thorin just gaped at him. He was unable to argue, but he wouldn't have dared to even if he could. He knew that Bilbo meant business this time. Plus, it amazed him that he did everything with only one hand.

He eventually nodded resignedly and began to eat. Nevertheless, Bilbo could see that he was only doing so with half his mind. It was obvious that he was still thinking about the Arkenstone.

He cleared his throat. "How does the food taste? Is it cold?" he questioned.

Thorin blinked, snapping out of his reverie. "Hmm? Oh...no. It's still warm. It tastes fine," he grunted.

"Good."

"Can you let go of my arm now? I'm not going anywhere."

"Sorry, but no."

He sighed in irritation, but Bilbo didn't care. He could huff and puff all he wanted, but he was going to stay there and finish his breakfast. If it took all day, then so be it.

Of course, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop him from returning to the treasure hoard indefinitely. Still, he would for as long as he could manage to.

Thorin eventually ate the rest of his food and drank his tea. Bilbo linked his elbow with his so that he could wash and dry his plate, cup, and silverware, then led him to their bedchamber.

"All right. Please get some sleep," he said once he got Thorin to remove his boots. He sat next to him.

"I'm not tired," Thorin mumbled.

"Well, can you at least try to? For me? You need your rest."

Knowing that he wouldn't give up, Thorin scowled and yanked the covers over himself. "Fine. I'll try. _Happy_?"

"Quite so. Thank you, Âzyungâl."

He didn't respond, just turned over.

Bilbo shook his head at him. Instead of being satisfied, he was feeling rather annoyed. His insides were also squirming with guilt. They had been ever since Thorin mentioned the Arkenstone.

He thanked Yavanna once again that Thorin couldn't see his face. He would have been curious-and likely even suspicious-if he did, and even more so if he saw it earlier. Moreover, he would have had every reason to be.

Bilbo knew that the Arkenstone wasn't in the treasure hoard. He also knew that Smaug didn't taken it either...

...because he had it. It was hidden in his coat's chest pocket.

When he entered the Mountain to retrieve it for Thorin, he had unintentionally awakened Smaug while searching for it. They spoke to each other for some time, Bilbo only doing so to keep himself alive for as long as possible. He also did so to keep Smaug from noticing the Arkenstone, which he finally found half hidden in the gold minutes later.

Unfortunately, Smaug did, and ended the conversation by asking how he chose to die. He made to swallow him up then, but Bilbo put on his magic ring and vanished before he could. The latter quickly grabbed the Arkenstone and put it in his pocket. After that, he quickly ran to escape the chamber as Smaug set part of the ceiling on fire and knocked over several pillars.

He met Thorin when he was halfway out. The latter demanded to know if he found the Arkenstone or not, but Bilbo knew that it wasn't the right time to worry about that. Not with Smaug looking for him. He didn't answer his question, only told him that they had to leave the chamber.

However, this was not the response that Thorin wanted. He used Orcrist to stop him from going anywhere when he tried to rush by him and pointed it at his chest.

Bilbo had been shocked and confused as he backed away from. Thorin would never do this to him in his right mind. But after peering at him closely, he could see that he wasn't. He tried to make him snap out of it, but Thorin didn't until Smaug began to approach them. He didn't behave oddly when he, Bilbo, and the rest of the Company were evading him either.

If Thorin had not been stricken with the dragon sickness a second time, just after Smaug was killed, Bilbo probably would have given the Arkenstone to him then. Nevertheless, that may not have been a good idea either. It was likely that it could have had an affect on him even if the gold did not.

He exhaled deeply and rubbed his temples. He didn't know how long he would be able to keep it hidden, but he would do so forever if it was necessary.

He hoped that Thorin would never find out that he had it too. Not while he was under the influence of the dragon sickness, that is. He couldn't imagine how he would react if he did, but he knew it that it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

XXX

Bilbo managed to keep Thorin in their bedchamber for the rest of the afternoon and evening. The latter still couldn't get any sleep, much to Bilbo's disappointment. He was relieved when Thorin consented to eat his dinner and supper without protest, though. He noticed that he fidgeted the entire time, but he didn't try to leave his presence to go to the treasure hoard chamber.

That is, not until the next morning. Bilbo woke up to Thorin attempting to slide away from him. He frowned as he tightened his arms around him. Thorin went rigid.

"Where are you going?" Bilbo inquired sternly.

"Er...uh..." he stammered, trying to think of a good response. Then he drooped and chose not to answer; he didn't want to lie to him.

Bilbo didn't need him to say anything, however. He already knew where he was planning to go. He sighed wearily. "Please, Thorin. Let's not have to go through this again. Why don't we spend the day together? We could find something entertaining to do. How about you give me a tour of the Mountain after breakfast? I would enjoy that," he suggested in a hopeful voice.

There was a brief silence before Thorin said, "Perhaps. But I don't feel like having breakfast. I'm not hungry."

"I know you aren't, but you still need to eat something anyway."

He huffed in exasperation.

Bilbo ignored this as he looked at the clock. "Breakfast will start in little more than a half hour. Why don't we wash up and get dressed before we go?"

Thorin refused to initially, but he was able to convince him to get out of bed after a few moments. He made sure that he wouldn't escape him as they took a quick bath and put on their clothes, and he linked his arm with his as they left the room.

The Company was taken aback when they entered the dining hall soon after. They weren't expecting Thorin to show up since they were used to him not being there. He didn't look as if he wanted to be either. They knew it was likely that he only came because of Bilbo, who had let go of him as they walked through the door. He knew that Thorin wouldn't like it if he held onto him in front of the others.

The said Hobbit was relieved when Thorin didn't argue or try to go back out. Instead, he greeted everyone in a brooding voice as he sat down at the table and dished out some food. They nodded to him as well as Bilbo when he too said good morning to them.

Seeing that Thorin wasn't in the mood for conversation, the Company resumed talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile, Bilbo watched him out of the corner of his eye while he ate. He wanted to be sure that he would finish his breakfast.

Eventually, Thorin did, albeit reluctantly since he had no appetite. He made to leave, but Bilbo eyed him pointedly. He grumbled and remained in his seat. _Why can't he just let me be?_ Thorin asked himself in irritation. All he desired was to be alone for a while.

Bilbo soon ate the last of his food and stood. "There. Why don't we go on that tour now? I would like to see the places I haven't been to yet, and learn about everything else," he added, noticing how restless Thorin still was.

He exhaled deeply and got up. Bilbo told the others that he would see them later as they left the dining hall. After that, he slipped his hand into Thorin's. The said Dwarf king found this an improvement. At least he didn't feel as if he were being dragged to and fro.

"Well...how about we start by going this way?" Bilbo asked, jerking his head in a direction that wouldn't bring them anywhere near the treasure hoard.

Thorin just nodded and led him towards the west end of the Mountain. He knew what Bilbo was doing, but chose to not to say anything on the matter. The last thing he wanted to do was to end up having an argument with him. In any case, he _had_ missed spending time with him. Even when his attention had been on the Arkenstone and gold during the last several days, his other thoughts were centered on him too.

He squeezed his hand a little, and Bilbo turned to smile at him. He grinned back and kissed him.

The tour went by smoothly at first. Bilbo looked highly interested as Thorin showed him the mines, the library, the throne room, and various other places. The latter pointed out statues and memorials too, explaining who made them, and who or what they were created for. They even put on their coats so that they could take a stroll on the grounds and headed over to Ravenhill.

They took a break a few times to have second breakfast and dinner. Bilbo was delightedly surprised when Thorin didn't tell him that he wasn't hungry or complain in either instance. However, the said Dwarf king was in too good a mood to.

After dinner, they went to see how the others were. All of them appeared to be doing fine; they were relieved to see that Thorin hadn't gone back to the treasure chamber after (first) breakfast earlier that morning. They hoped that Bilbo would be able to keep him from going there for as long as he could.

"Any sign of my nephews? Or Bofur and Óin?" Thorin queried at one point.

Everyone exchanged glances and shook their heads. They looked incredibly worried-as did he and Bilbo-and rightfully so. None of them could be certain that Fíli, Kíli, Bofur, and Óin were still alive.

They had remained behind in Esgaroth-or in Bofur's case, left behind-so that they could look after Kíli while he healed from the poisoned arrow that he had been shot in the leg with. However, after Smaug had set fire the small town, there was only a slim chance that they had survived. They hoped that they managed to leave before Smaug had, or that they had lived through the attack and were on their way to Erebor.

Thorin gave a tense sigh. "And what of Gandalf?" he inquired next.

"We haven't seen him either," Dwalin replied.

"But if we see any of them approaching the Mountain, we will be sure to let you know," Balin added.

"All right. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

During the tour, Bilbo had been awe. There were a good deal of splendid things to admire, He especially loved the library; he knew that he would find himself spending a lot of time there.

He couldn't help but feel sorry when he also noticed that many other places had been destroyed, though. Either that, or things were falling apart and in disrepair. Nevertheless, he knew that after Erebor was cleaned up and restored, it would look as spectacular as it used to be. He was greatly interested in seeing what it had been like before Smaug had come.

Thorin nodded in agreement when Bilbo shared his thoughts with him about this. He smiled a little as well.

"If anything, I will make sure that the Mountain looks even better than it had. Just you wait and see," he remarked.

All in all, it was an enjoyable morning and afternoon. They had pleasant discussions on matters other than what Thorin was showing Bilbo and walking in a companionable silence at other times.

Unfortunately, their high spirits didn't last.

Thorin started to grow increasingly distracted as they reached the end of their tour. His eyes also became cloudier, and he fidgeted. Bilbo tried bring him back to Arda by asking questions and commenting on something that was in particularly bad shape, but Thorin wouldn't respond.

That was when he realized that they were close to the treasure hoard's chamber. He immediately attempted to drag Thorin to another part of the Mountain, but this time, it didn't work. The latter snatched away from Bilbo (but not too roughly-he wasn't too far gone to know that he didn't want to harm him accidentally) and began to make his way to the aforementioned room in a trance-like state.

Yet, Bilbo was hurt. It caused him pain seeing the dragon sickness affecting Thorin like this. His spirits fell further when resisted his efforts to stop him. Thorin would only walk around him or remove his hands gently from his arms. Bilbo tried to talk to him and make him see sense also, to dissuade him, but that didn't work either.

"Come on, Thorin. Let's find something else to do," he said at one point.

"No. I need to go and look for the Arkenstone _now._ As I told you yesterday, it's important that I do," was all Thorin would mutter. "I will leave the treasure hoard when I have it, Ghivashel. I promise," he added in asides to Bilbo.

The said Hobbit stood in front of him. "Âzyungâl, please. This isn't a good idea. Every time you are near that chamber, the gold begins affect your mind! You need to stay away from there! A sickness lies in that place!"

"Nonsense! There is no such thing! _Nothing_ is affecting me! Please, love, just let me be. I have to go and find it."

" _No_!"

Bilbo moved to take his wrist, but Thorin snatched his arm out of his reach before he could.

"For the last time, _leave me alone and let me do what I **want** to do for once_. As I said, I will leave the chamber when the Arkenstone is found. I will _not_ leave it a moment before!" he roared, having lost his patience.

And with that, he stormed away.

Bilbo gaped at him in shock before collecting himself. "Thorin! Please, come back!" he yelled after him.

Thorin paid no heed to him, continuing to make his way towards his destination.

" _Thorin_!" Bilbo shouted again.

However, it was no use. He didn't stop or look at him. He just ignored his calls and protests as he turned a corner and disappeared from his view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review! I know this chapter isn't as long as the first, but I still hope that you enjoyed it! Sorry for the long wait. Good-bye for now, and happy holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! Let me know what you think so far.


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